1. She has a job
Always a plus. It took me approximately 89 rejection emails including one from Bowlplex before Victoria's Secret finally welcomed me into their pretty lives.
2. And her boss looks like Hugh Grant
Self-explanatory this one. Hugh. Grant.
3. She shags her boss who looks like Hugh Grant
Ditto
4. She quits said job (because she isn't trapped by fear) and EASILY gets a new job in TELEVISION nonetheless.
That would just never happen in real life.
5. She has her own apartment (albeit one with a hole in the wall) in London
So she spends Christmas at home with her parents, BIG DEAL BRIDGET! Some of us (ahem, me) have had to move from a wonderfully weird uni house to back home with the rents. Say goodbye to grown-up sleepovers and cooking pizza at 4 AM (sob) and say hello to curfews, "are you going to stay in bed all day"'s and interrogations every time you leave the house.
6. She has a long term relationship with a HUMAN RIGHTS LAWYER who looks like Colin Firth
First of all, a long-term relationship; How do I get one of those? And secondly, Human. Rights. Lawyer. A quick google search revealed some lawyers working for high-end firms can earn upwards of TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND GRAND A YEAR.
7. She can afford to go to Thailand with her best friend (drug-trafficking-misunderstanding aside, what a fabulous holiday)
If you read my Ultimate Life Goals list (see that here!) then you'll know that I am absolutely desperate to travel and Thailand is the ultimate cliche traveler's paradise. Think nature, novelty and something else beginning with N. And also elephants.
8. Hugh Grant and Colin Firth have an actual fisticuffs at dawn fight over her
Seriously Bridget. You have two guys literally fighting over you.
9. She weighs less than 9 and a half stone
Even though she eats practically a block of cheese every week.
10. Shaz and Jude are always there for her, and usually with wine.
Because best friends who aren't always with their boyfriends? Want! And Wine? Need!
- LOVE FROM LORNA, X
